How to Go Insane Twice
by DomesticatedWerewolves
Summary: Sure, he robbed the most complicated places in the world, but that was NOTHING compared to modern life. Watch Bakura screw up life more than once with microwaves, bathtubs, and other things that can just cause chaos. OneShot


Kana: I am so damn bored…

Bakura: Cue the insanity then.

Disclaimer: I have five dollars…I'm gonna go see if I can buy Yugioh with that. Until then, I don't own it.

**Summary**: Sure, he robbed the most complicated places in the world, but that was _NOTHING_ compared to modern life. Watch Bakura screw up life more than once with microwaves, bathtubs, and other things that can just cause chaos.

NOT YAOI. Just brotherly-ness. If you want yaoi go read the other one-shots I have.

OOOOO

_**How to Go Insane Twice**_

_**One-Shot**_

OOOOO

It was on the walls, tinting the perfect surface. It was billowing out of the open window in little puffs. It was practically dripping off the table and grouping on the floor like white jelly. The microwave door was blown open and had sticky pale goo plastered to the inside. The entire kitchen smelled like something had died and then festered for a few days.

What was it? Whipped cream. Four cans of it. And a few bags of marshmallows.

"Is it over?" Bakura peeked over the edge of the table, looking like his hair and face had a battle with marshmallows and lost terribly. His eyes were wide from fright for the first time in centuries, and they had reason to be.

Ryou opened the cabinet under the sink, where he had been hiding. His brown eyes were wide as well, the smell of burnt plastic making his nose wrinkle. "I think so."

Bakura crawled out, trying to keep his balance on the slippery desert topping. "Crap!" he cried as he lost whatever poise he had, and fell on his behind. He slide a few feet on the cream coated floor before knocking into Ryou, who was still climbing out from under the sink. He plowed into the petite teen, sending them both sprawling into the dishwasher.

"Bakura!" Ryou whined as his head was shoved into a rather messy pile of marshmallows and whipped cream.

Bakura laughed nervously. "I'm surprised we haven't been kicked out yet."

Ryou scowled, sighing heavily and making more of the cream in his hair spread. "Yeah, when one tells the supervisor that their 'brother' decided that he wanted his cream and marshmallows heated up and ended up making the microwave explode."

Bakura gave him the smile that could get him away with murder. It probably had.

OOOOO

It had started out as a simple fight over why Bakura had banished another one of his bullies, and it ended up spiraling into a fight with the shower head.

"Take that!" Ryou cried, spraying water into Bakura's eyes. The thief hissed and rubbed his face, glaring as soon as he cleared his vision. He grabbed the bottle of shampoo, spurting it on Ryou's head as they both got drenched.

Bubbles began to float up, drifting around them as they fought with anything and everything they could find around the bathtub, including soap and a scrub brush.

But it was over in a flash, both of them panting on a random spot in the bathroom. Bakura hung on the toilet, trying to catch his breath as Ryou nearly passed out in the tub.

"That…was stupid…" Ryou breathed, his hair wet and full of blue green shampoo as suds floated in the shallow water around him created by the fight.

Bakura hiccupped, eyes watching the bubbles that drifted out of his mouth. "Is it possible to burp bubbles?" he asked pitifully.

Ryou rested his weight on his elbows. "I seriously doubt it." He answered.

"Crap…" Bakura said, banging his head on the porcelain toilet. "There's something seriously wrong with me."

"I don't, however, doubt that." Ryou said with a smile.

OOOOO

"Are there any survivors?" Bakura asked, looking into the dust covered room. Everything was covered with lint, even the glass window panes.

He found his light coated in the grey, powdery stuff that _used_ to be in the vacuum. Ryou coughed, disturbing the lint in his hair. He glowered at Bakura with his hazy brown eyes, trying to blink dust out of them at the same time.

"_Why_?" He asked simply, getting up and looking at the destroyed vacuum. "_Why_ did you _have_ to try and kill it?"

Bakura shrugged, remembering the evil sound it had made when it roared to life. So he acted on instinct and began making holes in it with a knife. This causes it to make an even eviler sound and implode, sending dust, lint and fluff everywhere.

But he had never let anything he didn't like live.

OOOOO

"Dear Ra…" Bakura covered his mouth and nose, daintily picking up the plastic baggy of…_something_. It dripped something foul smelling and green onto the tile floor, making Ryou – who was behind him – gag. "What in Hell's Bathroom is _this_?"

"I think its lima beans…" Ryou offered, hiding behind his yami's shoulder.

"Didn't you last make those last Christmas?" Bakura asked, mentally reminding himself that today was the second of _August_.

"I believe so…" Ryou's eyes widened as the wet, mushy, light green stuff ran down Bakura's arm.

The Tomb Robber reacted instantly, letting out one hoarse cry before hurling the bag across the kitchen. It burst open, spewing decomposing lima beans across the wall, splattering a little on the window.

"Oops..." Bakura said, blushing as Ryou groaned.

OOOOO

Malik cocked an eyebrow when he saw Bakura and Ryou standing on his and Isis's door step, suitcases in hand.

Ryou grinned anxiously. "Is it okay if we stay here for a while?"

Bakura grinned in a replica of his others. "We got kicked out."

OOOOO

Kana: Hope you enjoyed that on the whim one-shot.

**_READ AND REVIEW!!_**...Please…


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